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♥ 18 June, 2007

Hmm. new blog, new beginning? not exactly. perhaps just a "place" for me to vent my frustrations, should there be any, and also to "pour" the stuffs which i find impossible to say it out. loud. wadever.

Sighs. Maybe it's really not meant to be? i dun know. perhaps all ppl do change over time... from good to bad, bad to worse? :( it was so different when it all began. so why the difference now. :( it's saddening to see stuffs like that happening again and again. and i'm seriously tired. of saying and repeating the same old things again and again. How now? arghh. is a r/s really that hard to maintain? i tried to. at least i felt i tried. tearing times and again over many many things. be it big or small. perhaps. i'm just useless, crying over stuffs which you may deem as insignificant. wadever. yea yea yea. all i know is to cry cry and cry. wat to do. sad life.

I'm seriously tired. quarrels/arguements more and more often. Perhaps you'll say that it's me anyhow-thinking again. but hey. have you heard of teh phrase 无风不起浪. (wu feng bu qi lang). if it wasn't for something taht you've done or said, would i have felt that way? ok. maybe i was being overly sensitive or wat. i admit, at times it happens, and i get emo or watsoever. but. argh.

I hate it when you dun even send me a single msg for a day. you might be busy. i noe. call me unreasonable watever. But at least, i'll noe that you are fine? Is sending me a msg to inform me that you've safely reached home so difficult? I noe at times i might be working or busy or wat, and it seems pointless to msg, but i'll get to see it after work right? at least i can be assured that nth happened to you or wat.

Many times, you left me wondering wat happened to you, crying even, worrying. etc. you may think i'm paranoid. i admit i am. if you had meant nth to me, would i have bothered? NO!

So many incidents... i'm really tired. r/s really wears me out sometimes. perhaps... single is really the better option? i dun know.

it's been so many days... so many things happened... and you know none or minimal. did you even bother to ask? no. neither did you told me abt your stuffs. once again. you seemed a stranger to me. we lack the mutual understanding i suppose.

i'm beginning to feel cold... my heart. that is.



nothing lasts forever,
only memories
11:00 am